It’s −12° in Michigan. We Regret Everything. Except This.
It’s −12° in Michigan. We Regret Everything. Except This.
There are two kinds of days in Michigan winter.
“Absolutely not.”
Today is firmly, aggressively, spiritually #2.
When the thermometer reads −12°, the universe is no longer suggesting plans. It is issuing a correction. Outside is hostile. Outside is personal. Outside is a place where optimism goes to die.
So we stayed in.
And somehow, against all odds, it turned into date night.
The Outside World Has Been Cancelled
The signs were clear:
- “Date Night: Cancelled.”
- “Michigan −12°: Absolutely Not.”
- Icicles growing like they’re trying to unionize.
Even the ghosts on the TV in Phasmophobia looked cold and judgmental, which feels unnecessary when you’re already wearing three layers indoors.
At this temperature, leaving the house isn’t brave — it’s a paperwork issue.
Inside: Warm Chaos, Poor Decisions, Dice Everywhere
The table tells the story better than we ever could.
- Board games mid-collapse.
- Dice scattered like breadcrumbs of bad strategy.
- Cards clenched with false confidence.
- Coffee mugs that say “ALL DAY MEANS ALL DAY.”
One of us is staring into the middle distance, holding cards like they might suddenly explain themselves.
The other is smiling — the unmistakable smile of someone who believes they are winning but absolutely is not.
The Cat Is Winning
Let’s be clear: the cat has taken control of the board.
He did not read the rulebook. He does not care about turn order. He positioned himself on the most important territory and dared us to challenge him.
We did not.
Because at −12°, you do not argue with power structures. You accept them.
His scarf says “I planned this.” His face says “You should have stopped at lunch.”
He is correct.
Strategy: Failed. Relationship: Somehow Thriving.
The notebook on the table reads: “Strategy (Morning): Failed.”
We should have planned dinner earlier. We should have stopped one round ago. We should have remembered that “just one more game” is how winters last forever.
And yet — this is the good stuff. Not the dressed-up version of life. The version where you stay in because nature told you to.
No makeup. No timeline. No agenda beyond don’t freeze.
Just games, laughter, mild trash talk, and shared disbelief that we live in a place where air hurts your face.
Best Date Idea We Didn’t Plan
Michigan winter doesn’t care about your intentions. It will cancel your plans and hand you something better — as long as you stay inside long enough to notice.
Cards in hand. Dice on the floor. Cat on the board. Temperature outside: no.
And honestly? We wouldn’t change a thing.
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